Christina Grace Hutson

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A Letter to the Weary

There's something called liminal space, it's what exists between the what is and the what's to come.  It's a waiting space that often holds shadows and silence.  It's a space where suffering can feel prolonged, and hope can feel fragile.

If you find yourself in this space as you journey towards healing, there's some things I want you to know.  

You aren’t alone.
If you’re angry or confused, you aren’t alone.  If you feel isolated or misunderstood or invisible, you aren’t alone.  If the new day requires great courage, and the night ends in tears, you aren't alone.  If you spend your time ravenously trying to find what’s cracked and fix what’s broken, only to feel like it keeps crumbling, you aren’t alone.  If your mind or body feels like it won’t ever be bound back together, you aren’t alone.  

This isn’t the end of your story.
Whether you’ve suffered for months or for years, this isn’t the end of your story.  You’re gonna make it.  As quickly as a page can turn, so can your story move to the next chapter.  Spring will come, bold and brilliant.  And until it does, it’s sprouting up all around you if you keep your eyes open to the whispers of new life.

You don’t have to fix it.
Sometimes in brokenness it feels like everything is shattered, an impossible puzzle to put back together with such weary human hands.  You wonder if it's your fault, if you aren't trying hard enough, if you aren't seeing the missing piece.  You wonder if perfection could fix it, if more intellect could find it, if more effort could restore it.  I see you, and I want you to know, you don't have to fix it.  It isn't your fault.  You can put down your sward.  You are safe to exhale today.  Safe to mess up, safe to not be perfect, safe to not take every piece of advice that’s handed to you.  You can trust that the gifts that guide you closer to healing will land exactly where they may, if your hands are open.  You'll seldom find healing in the hands of logic, but you will always find restoration in the hands of Love.

Your life isn’t passing you by.  
Your days have purpose, just as they are.  Simply by existing you bear the image of beauty that this world so desperately  needs.  

There's purpose here.
It’s in this space that patience, trust, and courage are being cultivated deep in your bones.  It’s in this space that you're being refined and made more whole.  It’s in this space that you're becoming a victor in the night, a wellspring of light.  It’s in this space of deep darkness that your capacity to experience joy and beauty is being expanded to equal depths.

It’s ok to feel the weight of emotion.  
It’s ok to be angry.  It’s ok to wonder why you’re here.  It’s ok to lose hope some days.  When you don’t have enough to carry you through, there’s an army of victors who have gone before you, standing beside you, rooting you onward, holding space for every broken part of you.

Brave Warrior, you are whole even in your brokenness, loved in your longing, held in your hardship.  May Love fill up every cell of your being today, and give you the courage to journey onward until you reach the beacon of light that awaits you.