Freedom to feel the weight of hard times


When I was in the thick of my illness and treatment, I remember crying so hard I thought my eyes would dry up.  Sometimes it was because I felt so crappy physically, sometimes it was because I was so emotionally fatigued, and sometimes it just felt therapeutic to cry.  Can you relate?  I’d literally have to guzzle liquids afterward just to keep up with the water loss.  I felt like my life had been stollen from me because I couldn’t do the things that I once took for granted…things like being able to walk around a store, drive a car, go out to dinner with my husband, or meet a friend for coffee.  My life became confined to the mile radius around my home (correction…..around the home of my parents who were helping keep me afloat.  Hats off to the ones who love us so well when the lights go out.)  

Sometimes I felt like I was the ONLY one suffering because every single person I saw doing normal life was.... doing normal life…those odds are 100% if you’re only seeing what you’re looking for.  It felt isolating and so foggy.

But the truth is that we all have some tunnels in our story.  Everyone's roadmap has them, and if we don’t avoid the tunnels, it’s easier to get to where we’re going.  

Maybe you can relate to those tunnel seasons?  Maybe you’re in one now? 

You’ve probably heard a lot of people say that you should look for the good in every situation, think of how much worse off you could be, or be thankful for what you do have.  And that’s all good and well-intended and I am a strong believer in the healing power of gratitude, BUT I also think that sometimes it’s ok to JUST be sad.  To JUST feel angry, hurt, abandoned, or despaired.  In fact, it’s critical to give those emotions a place.  They aren’t “bad” emotions that you need to redirect or avoid, they’re just….emotions.  Which means they’re a part of you and they belong to your wholeness.  

A toddler doesn’t "fake it till he makes it."  He cries until snot soaks through his shirt and then he moves on and finds joy in the sound of a singing stuffed animal or finds comfort in the arms of his mamma.  As we grow older, we have to be reminded that EVERY one of our emotions is valid and can take up space, and then we can move on when we’re ready.  

You can feel what you're feeling.  No redirection needed.

The thing about life is that there will always be light to move into.  When you’re ready, there will be a friend to call, someone to hug you, an iced latte to savor, a warm sun to seep into your skin.  You don’t have to worry about losing hope, because hope has a way of finding you, because it’s all around.  If you keep your eyes open, you won’t be able to miss it.  It’s really big like that. 

So for those moments when life is hard, when you’re so sick, when you’ve been devastated, when nothing is turning out how you planned, this is your invitation to feel it.  To let everything belong, to not sift through your feelings and try to toss out the “negative ones.” You can hold them close to your heart and return to them as often as they need comfort, and that frees you up to go and experience other emotions too, like joy and hope and peace. 

If you feel a little lost in a tunnel and need a hand to hold, know that you’re not alone and you can reach out to a friend or to me or another coach or guide.  I’m holding so much space for your heart and rooting for you today.